Today, I reckon.

"Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return."

I recall that every time I'd go and get my forehead ashed, the priest would remind me that we are made from ashes and to ashes we shall return. When I was young, there was this notion that the longer the cross stayed on one's forehead, the more chance one would go to "heaven". How, even the thickness of the ash, meant something like: the thicker the cross, the more "angelic", one has been and the thinner the cross, the opposite. I have never missed an ash Wednesday until today. This--missing getting ashed on the forehead, wasn't on purpose, of course. I am a practicing Catholic and have no intentions of converting to any other religion (no offense meant to others).

I stare at the screen tonight without nothing in my head.. Obviously, I prefer to write with inspiration, without any boundaries (ask anyone). Then I realized what ash Wednesday was all about.. It's not just cause of some tradition or custom of most Filipino people, or Catholic people; not only cause it's the start of the Lenten season which prepares us for the coming of Christ on Easter which is a few weeks away; and not because it's time to diet, remembering that it's fasting and abstinence for the day.

It's about Death.

Have you ever wondered why we recognize heroes, only when they've passed on? True to the saying, "You only know what you've got when it's gone."

How you choose a hero? Might be cause they've done something extraordinary, someone whom we've admired, someone who've gone through hell and still have made it back with their feet on the ground flawlessly.

Only now I've become aware of the real hero in my life, and I'm not saying this because I have hatred for my dad.. But because, I've recently discovered that my mom had just undergone a biopsy. Yes, she might have cancer. Might being the operative word. I have honestly never been so affected in my life. And it sounds corny, nevertheless, cliche to mention my mom being the hero in this lifetime. I just had to say it now because I want to, and I can. Day in and out, she has accomplished many things with greatness.. That's what makes a hero. She could be the greatest single mom in the world, for me, regardless of our teenage-middle aged disputes in the past. At the end of the day, it's her I look up to even at the lowest of times. She has raised the bar of being a hero.

I guess, it makes sense to think about death especially when something "tragic" happens. We have lost our appreciation for the natural cycles of life, have lost giving importance to people who have become more than what we've expected them to be, rather, ones who have exceeded our expectations.

Today, I say, this is for my mom. You are recognized. It should go without saying.

Eena